how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
