Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
