How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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