Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
