The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
