I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
