You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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