new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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