We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Will exercising make me less horny?
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