Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
