whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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