I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
