at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
