I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
