Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
