dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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