Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
