So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
