Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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