We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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