My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
