Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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