Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
