Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
