im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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