Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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