Nicole vs. Life
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
