I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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