i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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