I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
