Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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