Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
