She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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