wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
