I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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