I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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