u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
