If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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