So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
