im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize