We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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