Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
