Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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