So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
