I think I died a long time ago.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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