Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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