I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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