Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
