I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
