I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
