You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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