Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
