im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
